Ride Motorcycles and Lose Weight!
I never thought I would write about me losing weight, but I guess if this inspires just one person to lose weight, it is worth the time.
When I was 10 years old, I have discovered online games.
My friends and I used to go to an internet cafe every Friday after school. I was horrible at it, but I had so much fun. Until that point I have never found anything like it; for the hour we spent there the real world ceased to exist… it felt amazing to completely focus on the game.
I think it was probably the first time I felt what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi define as “flow”.
As I grew older I was even more into games. I still remember those summer days, being 17 and doing nothing else, but watching my favourite anime and playing World of Warcraft for days in and out. As a result, I ballooned up to about 120 kgs. I will never know for sure as I was just afraid of standing on a scale as it very likely feared me, standing on it.
If I must be honest, I don’t regret those days. Those days could have been spent much wiser, but I got loads of enjoyment out of it. I felt I was good at something, I formed many connections and met interesting people who otherwise I would have never met. Even if all this might have caused me some misery as well. But isn’t this the same with everything else? We sacrifice one thing for something else.
All my life growing up I believed I was fat and that cannot be changed. That’s how I am and that’s it. I still remember to this day when I explained to my father how all exercise is completely pointless and stupid because you will just end up hurting yourself in the end.
After some time, I realised that I wasn’t happy with my life. I can’t count how many nights I laid in my bed contemplating life and how shitty I feel being me, thinking whether anyone would miss me if I would be gone. It was probably the lowest point in my life, but all the desperation and hopelessness kind of given me the idea of why not try something new. I started playing the guitar to get away a bit and find other things that I enjoy in life.
What really got me out of this very deep hole was the day when from the pressure from my dad I agreed to learn to drive. I had one condition though, I wanted to do a motorcycle license as well.
It was a nice autumn day when I first went to learn how to drive a motorcycle. Wearing my cheapo motorcycle helmet and a random jacket. I probably looked ridiculous. I sucked so bad, but this was the second time in my life when I found myself so immersed in something that I forgot about everything.
Going to bed I could still feel the jerking motion when a motorcycle starts and the vibrations from the engine. I would imagine myself just riding a motorcycle all day. In the end, I ended up having a motorcycle license just before the snow started to fall that winter.
Next spring, I got my first motorcycle. I was so giddy and happy to have something so precious to me. My dad came with me to a city 160 kilometres away just to look at a motorcycle. I fell in love with the bike the first time I set on it. It wasn’t the best or the most immaculate or the fastest, but for me, it was the best motorcycle in the world because it was mine.
That summer I spent countless hours just riding around aimlessly, trying to find the windiest roads on the flattest place ever – not an easy task. The more and more time I spent riding the better I got at it – surprising huh? 😀 – but I realised I was so limited by the fact that I was so fat. Riding quick and hard got me so tired many times, I got off the bike with my legs shaking because they just couldn’t take the beating.
This was when I realised I must lose weight. You sometimes get motivation from where you least expect it.
The hardest part was to admit to people that I go to the gym because I want to lose weight. I was always the fat kid and that’s it. My mom was overweight, her side of the family was overweight so I am overweight as well, it’s normal.
I remember going down to the gym the first time, I didn’t dare to go inside. I walked past the door 5 times with my gym stuff. “Should I just not go in?”. I don’t know why I just felt like I have nothing to lose, I will go in and do my best. (I don’t know why but it somehow made me even a bit emotional. Don’t judge!). So I go in and a girl on the counter is just so nice to me and welcoming. Was I afraid of this? Or failing and having to admit I failed?
I wonder if she wouldn’t have been like that, would I have changed how I am? Would I have changed how I am if it wasn’t for that small, dusty and used up gym who given that welcoming atmosphere?
I came back the next day… and a day after that… and after that.
I started to give it everything I got because I just wanted to change how I am and be happy. That winter I worked for the first time in my life, standing for 12 hours, but every day I still went to the gym and worked my ass off. I pushed so hard I became dizzy. I ran until I wanted to collapse but kept going.
Surprise, surprise. It was working. I have seen changes that I never thought it was possible. I thought I will be 85 kilograms and that’s it. It was too easy… so I kept going. I ended up being 67 kilograms after 6 months I have started.
This is what really changed my outlook on life.
Before this, I never believed in anything. Neither any form of higher being or myself. I had to realise through my own journey that there is nothing else in this world who can make a change is You. Hard work and dedication. You set your mind to something and keep going until you succeed.
And never let anyone tell you otherwise. I remember my mother telling me how I shouldn’t throw out my old clothes because I might need them in the future. Funnily it didn’t even hurt me. I knew I changed. I knew what I wanted and had to do to get wherever I want in life.
Throwing away those clothes which could fit me at least twice was the most liberating feeling.
I never looked back since. There are ups and down in life. You will gain some weight, but you just have to keep working for what you believe in.